We all have an idea of how we’d like to act as parents. Our past experiences not only help shape our habits and what type of parent we become, they also give us a role model to either repeat or change. However, once we become parents we often find reality can be a bit more difficult than the ideals we had before our little one came along.
Follow these five steps to ensure your mindset is set to positive, especially when the going gets tough!
Acknowledge your past
Be aware of your own past and acknowledge the good AND bad. Our beliefs and habits around parenting originate from our past experiences and the role models we had. This is especially true when it comes to punishment and spanking – it can be difficult to make a shift in mindset, if you were raised punitively and want to become more relaxed over discipline.
Obviously you are going to need patience when it comes to raising a child – but remember to be patient with yourself too. As mentioned above, it can take time to change long term behaviour patterns – so make sure you give yourself the space and time to make these adjustments.
Be aware of your thought patterns
You cannot successfully focus on positive parenting if you’re constantly belittling your skills and abilities. Watch out for negative thought patterns and self-deprecating terminology and ensure you are always using positive language when referring to your child and yourself.
Drop the fear-based mindset
Allow children to make their mistakes. This can be a tough one, as we all want what’s best for our child, but children need to develop their social, emotional and intellectual skills and this may mean you leaving them to make mistakes.
But this, in turn is another learning experience, as they will grow up better equipped to handling the demands of life. They will learn to appreciate that sometimes you may fail, as well as the direct relationship between putting in effort to get a result.
Learn to re-frame your thoughts.
This can be a tough one, but look at misbehaviour as an opportunity to teach a new skill or for connecting more with your child. By re-framing your thoughts you’ll also be more able to read the logic behind the behaviour – for example is your child demonstrating fear, boredom or tiredness?
Positive mindset is essential when raising children. Do you have any great tips for keeping your mindset positive when the going gets tough? What is the best piece of advice you were given, in regards to staying positive and successfully raising children? Why not share your tips and advice in the comments section below.