When you first discover you’re pregnant you have a set idea in your head as to how that pregnancy will progress. You visualise the end result; see yourself hold your new baby and imagine how it feels to be a mother. Just the word “mother” sets off sparks of excitement! You plan the entire journey; where you will be giving birth, what pain relief you will use and when it will all happen… but what if you suffer a setback and your plans need to change?
Setback can occur to anyone, but add the pressure of pregnancy to the equation (along with the hormones!) it can be really easy to sink into a downward spiral as your carefully thought out plan goes awry. Follow these three tips to ensure you manage any pregnancy and childbirth setbacks calmly and rationally.
Don’t look for someone to blame
When we suffer setbacks it’s all too easy to start looking for reasons WHY it happened… and WHO’S to blame. We feel bad and we want to feel better, so we start analysing everything that happened prior to the setback… and this leads to “what if’s” and blame. It’s much better to acknowledge the setback has happened and to concentrate your focus on planning a new way forward.
Talk it through
It can be all too easy to bottle up how this setback has made you feel. Whether you feel angry, disappointed, cheated or guilty – talk it though with someone. Whether that’s with your family, partner, friends or medical staff – acknowledge and explain how you feel. This is so much better than bottling it all up and letting it affect your health and your pregnancy.
Keep your eye on the end goal
Whether high blood pressure means going on maternity leave early or an emergency c-section that denies you that “natural” birth, the important thing to remember is your pregnancy and/or childbirth hasn’t been ruined! You’re still expecting the same child you were excited to meet before the setback occurred. You’re still having a baby – regardless of how they enter the world. Your plan may have altered… but the end result is still the same.
Sometimes we just need reminding that everything is going to work out fine! By keeping your focus on the end goal and ensuring you talk through any fears and worries you may have, you’ll stay calmer. This will keep your blood pressure lower and you’ll find it much easier to keep a clear head… and truly believe that it will all work itself out in the end!
What are your thoughts around dealing with setbacks in pregnancy and childbirth? Does your birthing plan have room for changes? Who’s your sounding board if anything does go off track? Why not share your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below?